“I was 20 years old on 9/11, and the invasion of Iraq was shortly before I graduated,” tells photojournalist Peter van Agtmael. “These were formative events at a deeply formative time of life. Iraq and Afghanistan were the wars of my generation and I wanted to document them. I already had a young man’s naive fascination with conflict, a budding but frail political ideology, and dark and insecure desires to prove my masculinity, to myself as well as others.”
At the time of 9/11, van Agtmael was studying history at Yale University. After graduation, he became a photographer with Polaris Images (he is now a member at Magnum Photos). While working for them, he filled in a brief form, waited a few weeks, and when the approval arrived, he flew to Kuwait where the military then took him to Iraq. It was the start of a nearly 20-year odyssey to document America at war, both home and abroad.
“I had no clear concept of what I wanted to show, because I didn’t really understand what was going on”, he explains. “I started by mimicking my idols and trying to take pictures in the classical traditions of war photography.”
After a few months, Peter van Agtmael began to feel like he was repeating himself. But in looking to past photographers, he realized something about the type of images he was taking, and what he needed to do. “Philip Jones Griffiths showed me that photography could be analysis as well as evidence, and as I became more deeply involved, I began to develop my own understanding of what was happening. It became clear that to tell a story about the USA at war, I needed to also document the nature and history of my country, in all its manifest forms. I started peeling back the onion, and that lasted twenty years. I suppose there will be decades of work yet to come, each successive layer further clarifying and also muddying the waters.”
Look at the U.S.A: A Diary of War and Home is the culmination of van Agtmael’s exploration of both the multi-generational American wars in both Afghanistan and Iraq, and the home front thousands of miles away from the battlefields. It starts with the war in Iraq and ends with the Taliban takeover of Afghanistan.
The book juxtaposes scenes of troops in combat with their grieving families at home along with the recovery of the wounded. As the narrative progresses, the view widens. It examines the role of nationalism, the election of Donald Trump, militarism, and race and class on American society.
The photographs, with dozens previously unpublished, are combined with van Agtmael’s personal accounts, observations, and interviews with those he encountered over the years. All the elements create a complex, surreal, damning and sometimes ironic look at America since 9/11.
When Peter an Agtmael began this project, he had no idea of its magnitude. In the war zones he felt, and knew, who he was. But his work on the home front unfolded in different ways, leading to places he did not anticipate.
“I hoped to survive, mostly”, tells van Agtmael. “I had my petty ambitions, but mostly I instinctively knew I needed to be there. I was a silly little fool in many ways, but I also felt an incredible strength of purpose. When I was in Iraq, I felt like I was the person I was meant to be. The rest of the project unfolded piece by piece, as encounters, friendships, conversation, and emotional and intellectual discovery led me down many paths I could never anticipate. I learned the dangers of dogmatism through hard won experience.”
What viewers take from van Agtmael work is also complex. The photographs are an unflinching look at America, exposing undercurrents that can be hard to accept. It does not answer questions, and the more one looks, the more questions come to mind. The photographs and text expose wounds that have not yet healed, and the undercurrents that the American people has collectively not yet faced from the era. It looks into the divide that now runs through the heart of the country, and the abyss looks back.
“People bring themselves to the work, I know I can only shape things to a certain point,” says Peter van Agtmael. “The book is purposefully both stark and clear, as well as open ended and uncertain. That mimics my understanding, my confusion. There isn’t a single message I wish to convey. It is meant to be complex and contradictory.”
The personal work, both reportage and memoir, has also left scars on Peter van Agtmael. He writes in a brief text at the end of the book that while he came out of fairly intact, and he has worked calmly in times of chaos, he is unable to watch a scary movie. His mother told him that his soul is damaged. And while he says he can still love, and love deeply, he is angrier as well. But has been dealing with what he has gone through to capture these photographs.
“I did a lot of therapy, which I continue from time to time,” he explains. “I have eased out of full-time war photography, though it continues to be a part of my life. A number of experiences with consciousness-expanding psychedelics have helped order my mind and made a restless kind of peace. Meeting my wife has shifted my priorities and my sense of self-preservation. I started painting. The passage of time helps dilute some of the painful things I’ve witnessed. Regardless, I am fundamentally altered. I hope for the best. I’ll never know.”
Look at the U.S.A: A Diary of War and Home is published by Thames & Hudson, and can be purchased through their website here.
